When's the "Right Time" to Settle Down?

​© Michelle Chan

​© Michelle Chan
​
By a certain age, many young adults and adults begin to feel the pressure of parents, family members, peers, coworkers, and just society in general, that they need to "get married and settle down." While some may have dreamt of getting married and/or having children since a young age, it's not be the case for everyone.

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​​Sometimes, the experience is specific to culture, while at other times it may just be specific to a particular family. No matter what it's dependent upon, it can dictate in the minds of those around an individual what age is the right age to be married, what traits in a partner is considered suitable, the number of children a person should have, what is needed to be considered successful, whether or not having a collective or individualistic mindset is better, etc. Especially for those who are minorities and/or those who are first and second generation Americans, what society tells you can vary drastically from what your own family tells you is the "norm," making it extremely difficult to meet all the "milestones" that are expected

The following clip is an example of how the culture and the society you grow up in can drastically dictate what your life "should" be.

This next clip briefly discusses the history of marriage and the various types of marriages that have existed over time. This may help alleviate some of the pressure someone feels from the internal/external expectations, since it shows that nothing was always just done one way. ​

This goes to show that changes have and will continue to be made, and new "norms" will be established with time.

So... You do you! What do you envision for your life? What are the milestones YOU have set for yourself? What do you want to accomplish or attain? What is important to you?

If you haven't figured out my answer to the question, "When's the right time to settle down?" It's, "Whenever, or if ever, you want to settle down."



"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." –Christopher Morley