Seeing #BlackLivesMatter Protests Through a Systemic Lens

© Michelle Chan

Let me start of by saying what everyone else is probably feeling... Things have been hard lately. Really hard.

On top of dealing with the devastating and wide-reaching effects of COVID-19 around the world and murder hornets making its way to the U.S., we are now faced with the most recent death of George Floyd. 

It has been hard and heartbreaking to watch video after video and read article after article about not only the killing of George Floyd, but many other African Americans in our country as well. (And while I may be a person and woman of color, I am aware that I am afforded many more privileges than my African American peers.) Like many, I have been left speechless as I try to make sense of something so absolutely senseless. However, we need to be able to full understand a situation before we are can start on the path of making necessary changes.

Over the course of the past few days, it has become more and more clear that systemic racism and the fight against it needs to be seen as a whole. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have been trained to see things through a certain "lens" of sorts. A systemic one. So I began to use that mindset to help me better understand, verbalize, and cope with all that is going on.

1. In therapy: Sitting down and having heart-felt conversations with loved ones can be hard, whether it's with a family member, partner, or loved one. Sometimes, even harder than maybe just yelling or arguing with the other person. And definitely harder than just literally or figuratively plugging our ears or giving the other person the silent treatment. But conversations are needed for healing to occur, understanding to be fostered, and change to take place. In the end, whether or not there's a resolution, there at least can be some understanding. And who knows? Both sides may find out that they've been wanting the same/similar thing! But we can never know, if we aren't willing to sit down to even speak. 

In BLM movement: Without ongoing and in-depth conversations about the history of our country (e.g. slavery, segregation), those of us who do not have the lived experience of our African American peers simply cannot understand the true depth in which systemic racism exists in the fabric of our country. Without being willing to listen and to learn, we won't be able to heal the wounds that have been passed on from generation to generation. And unfortunately, there have been many who were either explicitly or implicitly unwilling to listen in the past. With ongoing cries for help and support having fallen on deaf ears.

This is why the Black Lives Matter movement is needed.
 

2. In therapy: Change is hard. You and I both know this. This is why I often tell new clients that things may get worse before it gets better. In relationships that are experiencing challenges, it is rarely one individual who is the sole "problem." More than likely, it is the relationship that needs work. Both individuals need to make some changes to make the relationship a better one. In other words, for there to be lasting change, the system needs to be changed. Unfortunately, there may be individuals who are unwilling to make changes in a relationship, whether they are benefiting from how things are currently or there really isn't much of an incentive for them to do the work that's needed. So, those who are unhappy in the relationship will have to initiate the changes they want to see, which will in turn throw the relationship into a place of unknown. This can lead to a bit of "chaos," especially if one is pushing for change while the other is digging their heels in for things to stay the same. This "chaos" isn't necessarily a bad thing though! This chaos has the potential to lead to the creation of a  new system of rules/behaviors, improving the relationship as a whole. But of course, it can also return back to the same defective system it was before, or may even lead to the dissolving of the relationship (e.g. breakup).

In BLM movement: Systemic racism has persisted in the U.S. for decades, transforming how it appears in our laws, but nevertheless lurking not far underneath. For far too long, African Americans have been in a relationship with our society in which they experience all kinds of abuse (e.g. emotional, physical, financial), and sometimes even death. In this relationship, many of those who are in power and are privileged want to keep the status quo in the relationship, ranging from having little to no incentive to create change, to outright putting up a fight. All this to ensure that the relationship remains the way it is now.  So for there to be systemic change to occur, chaos may need to happen to disrupt the "normal" way of doing things. This can potentially lead to there being a space for new solutions to be to create new solutions and new ways of doing things.

This is why the Black Lives Matter movement is needed.


3. In therapy: ​When someone is in an abusive relationship, whether it be emotional, physical, sexual, or neglect, we try to find ways to keep the individual safe. Whether that means getting help for the abuser, getting necessary agencies involved (e.g. child protective services, adult protective services, police, etc.), and/or safety planning (e.g. shelters or other places to remain safe). We also look for people (e.g. family, friends, colleagues) who can provide support (e.g. emotionally, physically, financially) to the individual who is in need, so that they can be safe. These systems are in place to protect the vulnerable and ensure that they get the necessary help.

In BLM movement: What happens when African Americans are in need of support and protection, but also have to fear being harmed by those who are suppose to protect them? When they, their loved ones, or people who look like them are shot and killed for just going about their daily lives. Where is their safety net? Where and who can they turn to, to get the protection and help that they need? In the end, they are left to their own devices, without the services and support that many of us are afforded.

This is why the Black Lives Matter movement is needed.


4. In therapy: Pain is expressed in many different ways. Most often, it presents itself as anger. This is because it's sometime easier for people to show anger than it is to show sadness or hurt. Society has made it seem "weak" to show when we feel hurt by someone or something, so instead, we act out in anger with our words and our actions instead. This can often be misunderstood by others who are experiencing or witnessing it from the outside.

In BLM movement: A huge majority of protesters who are standing up to systemic racism are doing so peacefully. Unfortunately, there are a small number of people who are choosing to express their discontent through looting and vandalizing. (Although there are currently also news about how some of the looting and vandalizing is done by groups who are not part of the protests or the BLM movement.) I neither judge nor condone these acts, 
but instead choose to come from a place of understanding. 

It is only when we ALL experience equality and feel there is such a thing as justice, that the Black Lives Matter movement is no longer needed. I hope I get to witness that one day. Until then, I will continue to further educate myself and do what is within my abilities to help ensure that all POC are afforded the same rights and privileges as our Euro-American counterparts.



And instead of providing a quote at the end, I shall share the voice and wisdom of Trevor Noah below. (If you don't have the patience or don't want to put in the time to watch the entire 18 minutes, fast forward to 5:40 to hear his thoughts about what happened to George Floyd, 8:15 to see hear thoughts about the protests and the why for looting, 17:26 to hear his closing thoughts and questions we all need to ponder about)