 Photo by Jordan Whitt © Michelle Chan
When your toddler or young child is crying and tantruming, be patient with them and help them figure out how they're feeling. Are they frustrated? Are they sad? Are they scared? Are they angry? Far too often, parents think that their child is being "disobedient" or "manipulative" to try to get what they want. But really, they just don't have the words to express themselves and/or the coping skills to help them cope in a more socially acceptable manner. By crying and tantruming, they are trying to COMMUNICATE to you that they are having a difficult time and feeling strong emotions that they need help with, from you.
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© Michelle Chan
[Warning: This post may be triggering for some parents/adults, especially those who may have experienced trauma or abuse as children.] A lot of times, most parents and adults forget how difficult growing up can be. So instead, most of us do a quick flashback of our childhoods, remembering a general sense of it being happy and/or easy. But what if we really sat down and thought about about our past experiences in more detail? Let's be honest, who has the time, or want to make the time, to think that far back? However, if we are to truly understand the children in our lives and be empathetic towards their struggles, we need to take time to reconnect with our own inner-child. If some thoughts are already surfacing, you know what I'm talking about. However, if you're sitting there rolling your eyes or scoffing, would you mind taking a little trip back to the past with me for just a few minutes? © Michelle Chan
[Warning: This may be especially triggering to those who have experienced sexual assault/abuse or to those who have loved ones experience trauma.] Ever read the news about a child having been sexually assaulted/abused and thought, "That's never going to happen to my child(ren)!" How can you be so certain? Do you plan on never letting your child out of your sight? Or what about hearing stories of adults who spoke about having been sexually assaulted as a child/teen? Abuse is one of those topics that is uncomfortable for many to even think, much less talk, about. Which means discussions about sexual abuse, especially regarding children, is that much more difficult to bring up. But we must! Why? |
© Michelle Chan
Michelle Chan, M.A., LMFT Archives
June 2020
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