©Michelle Chan There's something soothing and poetic when the weather reflects your mood. It's as if the world/universe is saying, "I feel you" and "I understand." When we're happy and the sun is shining, it feels as though the world is celebrating and rejoicing with us. When we're sad or hurt and the rain is falling, it's as if the world is empathizing and in misery with us. How wonderful it is to feel understood by the rest of the world.
Often times, many of us put up a positive exterior, whether we are at school, at work, or just out and about in our communities. It is what is expected. The response to "How have you been?" or "How are you doing?" is expected to be "Good!" "I'm doing well," "Great" or at the very least "Ehh... Not too bad." When do we actually take the time to listen, or to share what is going on in our lives? It is such a shame, because that is a lost opportunity for a deeper connection with another human being. Society sets rules of how we should behave in a "professional" or "correct" manner, and so we follow. But wouldn't it be wonderful to feel understood at least in some situations and with the special people we choose to open up to in our lives? Most of us have an inner desire to be understood, if not by the world, then at least by someone. Unfortunately, many of us are also scared or unwilling to open up to others, for fear of judgment, rejection, pain, disappointment, etc. Sometimes, risks need to be taken in the hopes of obtaining something better or achieving what we desire. So the question is, how can you FEEL understood, if you do not make the effort to express yourself to those around you? At times, for various reasons, opening up to those around us is not an option. So what does one do then? One way would be to open up to someone who will be supportive and nonjudgmental in hearing what you have to share and want to express, like a therapist! Sometimes, we just need a corrective/positive experience, where we can express ourselves without fear of being reprimanded, judged, or talked about by others. A safe space where we can explore who we were, who we are, and who we want to become. Just remember, a rainbow cannot exist in the absence of either sunlight or rain. "And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more." –Erica Jong
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Michelle Chan, M.A., LMFT Archives
May 2021
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